Duality

The sun, seated high in its throne
Scorching its citizens cruelly.
I wake up gingerly, my head throbbing
My thoughts shuffling, unruly.

Am I waking up from a dream?
Or am I falling into one
Reality has coagulated with illusion.
Not even pain is my totem.

Each reality, more painful than the other.
And the dream world doesn't even elevate it.
Ironically, I don't feel a thing!
Because I'm going numb, bit by bit

I dream of a past life.
The life before this reincarnation,
Did I really live it, or is it
Just fragments of my imagination?

As if falling asleep, I collapse
Waking into another reality.
My past life has diminished
Into a long distant memory.

Now like an insomniac, I drift
From one consciousness to the other.
Like a schizophrenic, I'm floating
To wherever I don't smother.

Both lives, are right in their place
But together, they're like ice and fire.
I can't be at both places at once
I have to die in one, to enter the other.

Like a troubled child of a broken home
Both parents equally doting.
But to be partial towards one, would go against the other.
The helplessness is now brimming.

And every month, I die again.
Just as the pain begins to fade away.
Now I'm living in this duality
Changing lives, like night and day.